June of last year I decided to move to Provo because I didn’t feel like going back to BYU-Idaho at the time and I still wanted to be in a fun young people environment while I kept pursuing my education online. I’m glad I ended up moving to Provo because that’s where I found a job that I’m really glad I had (working with special needs kids) and most importantly it’s where I met Connor!
Most of you probably don’t know this but we technically met on Tinder. The thing is I was really bad at Tinder. I barely used it and hardly replied to anyone so when I matched with Connor (on July 21st, 2016) and he sent me his first message (August 3, 2016), we talked for a little bit but then I stopped replying.
A couple months later, I randomly got this thought that I should message him back. I hadn’t messaged anyone back in at least weeks but I decided I should message him back out of all people! We only sent a couple messages back and forth before I stopped replying again.
But on September 28, 2016, the weirdest thing ever happened. I was sitting outside the Bishop’s office waiting for a meeting with a member of the Bishopric when the most attractive guy ever walked by. His smile was so attractive! I literally thought, “That guy is the hottest guy I’ve ever seen,” but along with thinking thinking he was hot, I also realized that I recognized him from somewhere. He was already long gone down the hallway when it hit me that he was that guy from Tinder that I had chatted with a bit.
I showed this random guy and girl next to me his picture on Tinder and asked them if the guy that had just walked past was the same person in the picture. The guy had no clue if he was or not but the girl said he was! I was mostly excited that he wasn’t creepy and that he was normal looking and good looking in person. You never know with Tinder.
I ended up messaging Connor and asking him if he was at the stake center. He replied a couple hours later and said he had been and that he had recognized me too! We ended up texting for awhile and he mentioned that he might call me a few days later and ask me on a date for the next weekend.
Even though he was attractive and I was a little excited, I really didn’t think much of it because I had gone on other dates and hadn’t been impressed or had a connection with any of the guys I’d met. Sometimes dates just made me sad because none of them felt right and they seemed like a waste of time.
And I was happy on my own. I really was!
Connor ended up texting me that same night and asking me on a date because he didn’t want to wait until the morning or until another day to call me (and I guess it seemed weird for pretty much a complete stranger to call at 2am in the morning or whenever we were texting until). So we set a time for the next day.
He knocked on my door the next night and I opened it and swooned over his smile all over again. His good looks made me kind of nervous, but to be honest I was mostly excited and I felt more comfortable around him than I had with any other guys. Right off the bat.
We walked to the park near my house and swung on the swings (one of my favorite activities ever). We talked about ourselves and I remember locking certain things into my brain that he said because I hadn’t heard any other guys say the sort of things he was saying. He was so impressive yet so humble. The conversation flowed very naturally and I felt very in the moment, which was unusual. I know it sounds silly but it really did just feel right from the beginning.
I could swing for hours (I have swung for hours, in fact) but I could tell that he might not want to swing anymore so we took a long walk. We talked and laughed and I didn’t want the night to end so I took us on a real long walk around my neighborhood. He probably thought I was kidnapping him or something.
When we got back to my house, we stood outside of it and I really wanted him to come inside but I didn’t know if he wanted our date to continue. It all seemed too good to be true. So instead of asking him directly if he wanted to come inside, I asked him if he was tired and he replied, “Not at all,” and he said he wanted to keep hanging out.
So we went inside, showed each other pictures of our families, watched The Office, and I’m pretty sure I had him take the 16 Personalities test because I was super into that back then (he’s an ISFJ and I’m an INFJ btw-and yes, I was super thrilled that we had 3 of the same letters). The whole night was simple but so magical. I fell asleep giddy, smiling, and thinking of him.
The next day I still thought it might have all been too good to be true but then I got a text from him saying, “Did I earn the chance to see you again?”
I let him know that he definitely had earned the chance to see me again and we’ve seen each other (almost) every single day since then.
The more I got to know Connor, the more I genuinely liked him and respected him. He wasn’t a player and even made sure to make it very clear to me that he didn’t just kiss anyone, he was very patient, he thought a lot like me, I could be myself around him, I loved talking to him, he was sweet and caring and the farthest thing from a jerk, I could be myself around him…and the list could go on forever. Literally.
He asked me to be his girlfriend a couple of days after we had our first date. I know, crazy. I guess when you know, you know.
Everything was going really smoothly until marriage was brought up. He knew me well enough to know I’m pretty independent and stubborn but I’m not sure he realized just how much until the topic of marriage came up. I had used my independence and “not being ready for marriage” as an excuse for breaking things off with past guys because I didn’t like them enough and didn’t want to continue dating them, but that wasn’t the case with Connor. I was crazy about him, but the idea of marriage was just scary.
Even though I knew I wanted to marry Connor, he had to calm me down several times- telling me that sharing our money would be okay and that he would still give me my precious “alone time,” and all the other things I worried about that come with marriage. I made darn sure that he knew he wasn’t going to control me or tell me what to do and that we were going to always be equals. I really didn’t even have to make sure he knew that because it’s not in his character to be controlling or prideful but I wanted to make sure we talked about everything since marriage is the biggest decision you could ever make!
There was never a single doubt about Connor being the right guy for me. I knew it from very early on. Even though the thought of sharing my life (including my bedroom, bathroom, thoughts, feelings, children, and everything else) was a little scary, I knew that Connor was perfect for me!
I had finally found a super attractive, sweet, sensitive, introverted, goofy, funny, humble, selfless guy that I was completely in love with and could be completely myself around (pranks, teasing, sassiness, farts, and all!)
At the beginning of 2017, Connor took me to the park that we’d swung at on our first date and asked me to be his wife. We both cried and I just said, “thank you,” instead of, “Yes.” (oops) but it was the best day I had ever had!
Now the best day I’ve ever had is our wedding day!
Now that we’re married, I realize that I shouldn’t have been so anxious about marriage. It’s the best thing ever (because I chose someone wonderful for me!). All those things I worried about before aren’t even an issue. I’m just so glad that I married my best friend and most of all that I didn’t settle for anyone else that wasn’t right for me.
Never settle! You really can find someone you’re madly in love with whose totally compatible with you. Of course, you’ll have your differences and your arguments but that deep love and admiration for each other are definite must-haves!
Well, that’s all I’ve got for you for today! Stay tuned for Connor’s side of the story which will be coming up next!
Until next time,